Another bad day.

Theres's an 80% (self-diagnosed) chance that I'm going to lose ALL my songs, and ALL my pictures, and ALL my stuff ALL OVER FUCKING AGAIN. I don't know which is worse -- losing all my hard work for the stupid projects, or losing all the personal stuff. Unless the service staff tell me that I can transfer them to my hard disk again. Which basically translates into a lost half-day. On Monday. I really hope Ang Chiat will give me more time.

Dee went out with the guys last night. This morning, I checked my phone. Messages from Jerry and Belle; none from him. Naturally I scolded him since he didn't practice what he preached. He stayed over at Cheng's and he didn't tell me. Now that I think about it I wonder how they slept. He probably shared a bed with Belle and Cheng. Or am I thinking too much? I have a feeling he drank too much yesterday. Like what's new huh?

But whatever, this is so fucked up. I might as well have stayed out last night if I'd known my laptop was gonna crash this morning. I stayed home cos of my work! And now I can't even do my work. But I probably wouldn't have enjoyed myself last night anyway. Never do with them.

-

Did some spring cleaning today. Mom was giving me a hard time, as usual. She claimed she wouldn't when I told her she would, but obviously she just can't help herself. After telling her my comp crashed, she just wouldn't let up her nagging. Got worse, in fact. Freaking annoying. Packed wardrobes; she helped. Threw away some stuff and I actually found-- guess what -- my mutuals from NCC time!! I don't know if they're called mutuals; I kinda forgot. But I insisted on not throwing them away cos they contained lots of memories, and Mom relented.

What else?

Oh yes, decided not to go for the NYF Alumni meeting cos I'm in a pretty rotten mood. Won't be going out today again I guess. HE'S too tired from last night after all. And everytime he goes out with them he always can't go out with me the next night. What' new? But can't say anything lah. After all he hasn't met them in ages. I'm just pissed I'm not gonna get a weekend with him. But whatever. His friends are more important. I really think everyone else is more important to him than me. And of course I am NOT trying to say that in a boo-hoo way. I'm just stating a fact that I really, really feel is true. No self-depreciation in anyway; just stating a self-felt truth.

I can just bet he would say he can't stay over, IF we do meet up, because of his parents. He wouldn't be able to eat dinner with me, because of his brother. He also wouldn't be able to meet me in the day, because of his sleep.

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Fay called me yesterday. She couldn't get into uni and she was crying really hard. I'd say "crying like a bitch" but that sounds quite wrong and mean. She was really, really down and my heart just broke for her (if I can feel it). I really fucking wish I weren't so numb. I'm just plain NUMB. Like, I can't even feel sadness properly. I know I'm supposed to feel something, but I just can't. So I kinda feel like that Sai guy in Naruto where he has to learn how to act. Read a book, even, so he'd know what reactions / emotions he's supposed to portray in any given shituation.

As I was saying, she couldn't get in. And so we talked pretty long. I was trying my best to cheer her up and it worked for awhile I guess, when I suggested for all of us to go to army. Then she said go 'police'. Then I was like yeah totally go and get guns and shoot all the government fuckers who refuse to let us into uni despite decent grades'. So she laughed at that and I'm glad I managed to make her laugh, if only for awhile, before she started crying and sniffling again ):

Poor dear. Maybe next year I'll be in her shoes too. I'm serious about it. My GPA's really so freaking horrible. I just hope all the testimonials I'm getting from various teachers will really help.

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Oh well. Maybe it's a good thing my laptop crashed. This way I can study for MEDSOC.

What a fucking boring life and weekend.

SICK.

OF.

STUDYING.

And I haven't even started yet.

EWWWWWWWWWW I JUST SMACKED THIS REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLY FAT MOSQUITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

IT WAS HIDING IN MY TOWEL ON MY BEDDDDDDDDDD EWWWW.

FAT, FAT, FAT AND SO BLACK!!

I, like, slapped once, missed. I waited, and POUNCED AND SLAMMED IT AGAINST THE WALL SO HARD, AND

GOT

IT

!!

FREAKING EWW ZOMG.

All the blood OOOOOOOZED and I thought it was gonna leave a perma mark on my wall AND HAND. But thank God it washed off. Imagine permanent blood on your hand. MOSQUITO blood. EWW.